Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
