Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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