You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
