So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
