I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
