id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
