I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
