the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
