That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
