Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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