So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
