Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
