Swine flu. Run for my life!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Randomize