when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
