She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
