When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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