i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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