Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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