god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
