i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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