Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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