there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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