I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
