There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
too bad you live with your parents still
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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