so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
