I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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