it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
