I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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