Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
