He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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