Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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