I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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