im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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