windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
