Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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