I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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