Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
