so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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