If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
