Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
