Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
