Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
