I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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