Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
