You don't have asthma, your pregnant
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
