Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found a bag of teeth...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
