Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
