are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This is not my ceiling
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize