we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
