I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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