then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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