have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I love having hate sex.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
