He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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