Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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