I seem to have left my pride at pride
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
