My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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