I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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