so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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