eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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