So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize