then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
