Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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