His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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