we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
